Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
