just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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