This is not my ceiling
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
