You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
