smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
