So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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