Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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