It's just like the Real World with babies
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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