btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
