Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
