absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
