He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
