ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
