I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She's the barista slut.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
