Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
