I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
