There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
