very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
