I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
