It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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