I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
