New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
