so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize