Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm passing your future prison.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
