thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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