I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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