No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
