what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
