I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Bring me that man meat
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
