U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize