During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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