I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize