I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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