I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize