You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i love accidental penises.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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