There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
