Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
