I bet he comes in French.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
