can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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