yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
