just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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