we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
