talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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