remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
