I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
