I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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