i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
