Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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