she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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