I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
