god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
