I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
third nipple confirmed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
