my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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