He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
