your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
