He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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