I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
