its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
