People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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