He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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