I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
