Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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