she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
