Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
