Don't you send me to vm
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
